The story we’re sold about love usually doesn’t go past the exposition. The part people write about and talk about and make films about is the seeking, finding, losing and finding again.
We talk about heartbreak and loss, and how we grapple with ourselves and our partners, but we don’t talk about the mundane, the ordinary, the everyday lives we ultimately settle back into once the firework show has ended.
Because we’re conditioned to think that the chase and the thrill and the acquisition of love is love itself, we’re hooked on ideas more than we are open to connection. We can more easily identify what doesn’t work about a relationship before we can take solace in what does.
We aren’t willing to do the work. Work isn’t romantic. Work isn’t fun. The story about love that we’re sold is one in which it makes everything happy and light and easy. Even if we think we’re wise enough to see beyond it, most people subconsciously succumb in one way or another. Maybe it isn’t about being able to determine whether or not someone is the “right fit” for us, but being able to determine how far we’re willing to push ourselves to really see.
Oftentimes, the relationships we’re in aren’t wrong, they’re just not what we imagined they’d be.
At some point or another, most people need a gentle wake-up call — a little reminder that love is what we foster, not what we find. Here are all the signs that maybe you’re already in the right relationship. It’s just a matter of seeing it through.
1. You Feel At Peace.
In any other situation, this would put you at ease. But lately, it’s left you questioning whether or not that romantic spark still exists. The truth is that the kind of love that lasts, the kind on which you build a respectful, intimate, real relationship, makes you feel at peace. It’s more comfort than it is panic and thrill. There’s a difference between settling into comfort and settling for less than a love that makes you feel like your best, most grounded self.
2. You Know How To Resolve Your Old Relationship Patterns.
When you arrive at the point that you’re able to recognize a pattern emerging, you’re also at the point where you’re ready to let it go. Often in the best relationships, these issues stand front-and-center. It’s never a matter of whether or not you experience them, but whether or not you resolve them.